I gave a short spiel on blogging (for family history) to the Church Ladies on Wednesday night. Here are my notes, since I couldn’t use paper for a handout about internet stuff. If anyone has other tips or thoughts, please share. I wanted to balance practical ideas with motivation, maybe emphasizing the motivation side, because I think everyone should blog, and I’ll tell you why.
(Note: whenever you see blue words on this blog, you can click on them to go to an example or reference for whatever is being discussed.)
Blogging for Church Ladies
Why should I blog?
1. To record what happens around and within you. Of course you can keep a journal, but blogging helps by providing incentives (commiseration, support) and accountability (it’s public, so it’s obvious if you’re not posting). Getting feedback on your activities and thoughts can help you be more reflective about what you do and what you think, what you believe, and why. An Ensign article called Hidden Benefits of Keeping a History (Thanks, Laura) encourages us to record both our successes and failures, and our feelings about them.
One thing I like to do when I’ve wiped soggy cheerios off the kitchen floor seven times in one morning is to pull up my post about Spot’s Elbow Dance. She isn’t always that cute, but knowing that she was, once, unbearably cute, makes me a little more resigned to following her around with a soapy washcloth. Reading other blogs about the naughtiness and cuteness that go hand in hand with children lets me know I’m not alone as a mother.
2. To share the gospel. Two words: Big Love. If we want the world to understand us for who we really are and what we actually believe, we have to witness what that is. Elder Ballard gave a commencement speech at BYU-Hawaii that was later an Ensign article called Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet, and it is a most splendid call to action.
Now, one of my favorite blogs, Conversion Diary, is written by a Catholic who used to be an Atheist, and I’ve made several awesome (blog) friends who are not Mormons. I’m not writing my blog to try and convert them. I admire and respect the faith and devotion they live. But I do want to state, in my own words, what it is that I believe.
Elder Ballard says:
May I ask that you join the conversation by participating on the Internet to share the gospel and to explain in simple and clear terms the message of the Restoration. . . . you can start a blog in minutes and begin sharing what you know to be true. . . .
[Church members] have recorded and posted their testimonies of the Restoration, the teachings of the Book of Mormon, and other gospel subjects on popular video-sharing sites. You too can tell your story . . . Talk honestly and sincerely about the impact the gospel has had in your life, about how it has helped you overcome weaknesses or challenges and helped define your values. The audience . . . may often be small, but the cumulative effect of thousands of such stories can be great. The combined effort is certainly worth the outcome if but a few are influenced by your words of faith and love of God and His Son, Jesus Christ.
I don’t talk Mormon stuff every day. Sometimes I go weeks without mentioning the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but in every post, I try to show that my family and I are pretty normal, pretty friendly: people you wouldn’t mind living next door to, even if we don’t bring a bottle of wine as a housewarming gift.
3. To make friends, fellowship sisters, stay connected to family. The other week I wrote a post about the difficulties of making friends in new places. I was shocked at how many other women are also lonely. Any time I am feeling sorry for myself that no one reaches out to me, I’ll read the comments on that post and remember my resolve to be the one reaching out.
How do I blog?
1. Choose a platform. The easiest way to get started is Blogger. There’s also Typepad (great customer service for $5/month) or Wordpress. You can also host your own website, of course, and if you’re interested in that I’d be happy to have you talk to my husband. If you can do email, you can start a blog in Blogger. Try searching on Blogging Basics 101 for further help (or call me! I love talking blogging, if you can believe it). (If you don’t have my number, email me at whataboutmom@gmail.com).
2. Stay safe. Don’t make it easy for the crazies to find you or your family in real life. You can make your blog private, but I would still be careful (and that would sort of counteract Elder Ballard’s plea). Don’t use your last names or your address or ward name or school name, or the birthdays of your kids, and if you do post photographs, don’t post naked shots of the kids in the tub, or shots that include the license plate on your minivan. Don’t mention a family trip or your husband’s business trip until after it’s over. Pretend, with every post, that you’ll be reading it to the person it’s about in front of the entire world.
3. It’s just another way to communicate. Blogging shouldn’t, of course, replace our everyday interactions with each other, but it is a great new way to communicate. Sometimes people are mean on the internet, or petty. And it can be intimidating to put yourself out there like that. But the benefits — of coming to know yourself and the world better, and of discovering people around the world and across Utah lake — have been, in my experience, life-changing.
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I just want to say that I am NOT Mormon but I’m beginning to feel everybody I know IS Mormon. This is not a bad thing, no, overall I have the LDS population to wonderful people whom I would love to hang out with. I’m totally envious of the whole craft/church/lady thing y’all go goin’ on because my friends come back with the coolest stuff from those meetings.
Regarding blogging, my mother recently printed my entire blog and had it bound into a book for me. She commented that some day my kids will be so thrilled that I spent so much time documenting my thoughts, our lives and my feelings. I didn’t start blogging with that intention. No, I did it out of the selfish need and desire to do something intellectual besides cleaning poop. However, the benefits I have reaped are numerous. I’ve made many online friends whom I would love to hang out in person (Jane, you being one) and I have discovered within myself a talent that had laid dormant for far too long.
I do love blogging and I think many women would benefit from it. I think this is one of the best legacies that we will leave our children. How many of us wouldn’t love to have this sort of record of our own mothers? Plus, isn’t heritage stuff like a big Mormon thing? Aren’t y’all the ones with the giant family tree database that has somehow traced everybody’s family roots for like the whole world?
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Quick question: what is the secret to the little blue words? How do I create those on my blog? Can you do it with blogger?
This was a great post. I love thinking that blogging is a positive form of record-keeping, and not just a fun way to pass the time and fill my need for connection. Yes, I would have totally loved to have a blog-like record from my mother. There’s only so much that a woman can remember when she has 8 kids to keep track of. And no, she was not much a journaler, so pretty much the stories are all memory based.
Blogging has become my new favorite thing. I’d so much rather blog now, than watch TV, during my downtime. And now I spend my days–while I’m cleaning, cooking, running errands, watching the kiddo’s, etc–thinking about ideas for my next blog entry. It’s really quite thrilling! It too, has filled a far too long dormant need to write and share with others. Sometimes, as a mother, I find myself spending too much time by myself (with the kids of course)and I become more introverted and even a bit reclusive, which is SO not like me. Typically I am quite the opposite, and it’s hard to get me to shut up. But it’s hard when you have kids to always maintain friendships and to get out and socialize. Atleast it is for me. I totally loved your blog Jane about “the difficulty of making friends in new places.” We’re military, so that really hit a chord with me. I hate being lonely and it’s so wonderful to have good friends, both on- and off-line. The great part about blogging is that it helps you to keep in touch even when you or your friends move away.
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I would like to add that I wouldn’t give up *real* journaling though. It’s nice to have a place to really get down the ugly thoughts and be able to plow through them, because no one will see them.
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But can blog commenting count for visit teaching?
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I love Laura’s question! You did a great job Jane! There’s a good chance I’ll be linking to this post! (not like that’s a first!)
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The little blue words can be blue or whatever colour is a part of your colour scheme. Blue is the default colour for links. You just highlight the words you want to have linked, then click the little icon that looks like two links in a chain, and enter the entire URL of the web page you want the words to link to.
Beth, you are welcome to attend those craft meetings. They’re for everyone, not just Mormons.
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Laura, I love your comment about Visiting Teaching. That’s too funny. I just attended a Relief Society Board Meeting yesterday, where we discussed V.T.ing and what is or is not appropriate for counting our numbers. I don’t think blog commenting counts. However, a phone call or letter–preferably ‘real’ mail (you know, with an envelope, and a stamp and everything–I know, it seems like so much work doesn’t it?), and not e-mail.
P.S. Thanks Laura for teaching me in the ways of “little blue words” by commenting on my blog. It was fun to receive and extra comment the the new info. will be fun to try out.
P.P.S. Thanks to Natasha too for “little blue word” instructions
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I gave this same Enrichment night speech about six months back. I told them one of the main reasons I started blogging was so I could keep my journaling positive–I tend to wallow in the pits of despair in my written journal and I did not want my kids/descendants to think I was truly so negative. Blogging helps me to focus on the positive side of life.
I took a copy of Well-Rounded Woman’s blog book to show, which was helpful. Some women had no idea what blogging even was. Having the hands-on visual was very much needed.
Good luck with this–I am sure you will do a great job!
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Love your post. Unfortuinately I am unable to type much right now with my hands. I’ll have to come back and visit when things are better.
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Beth — Yes, you totally would be welcome at the church lady craft days. Sometimes we’re regrettably insular, or we just don’t even think that others might be interested in what we’re doing. (And I confess there have been times in my life that I have NOT been interested in church lady crafts!). But if you know a Mormon IRL, just mention your interest, and see if she doesn’t gobble you right up! (in a good way.)
Julia — (thanks to Natasha and Laura! You guys all make blogging really fun!) For more on hyperlinks, you can check out this post. The best way for me to learn computer stuff is to have my husband do it for me nine times, and on the tenth time I get tired of having to ask for help, so I watch him do it a few times, and seven years later, voila! I am a blogging-techno-WIZARD. (not).
My point: If anyone you know is a more experienced blogger, see if you can sit down with them and pick their brain, esp. if you are a hands-on process-type learner.
Moving around is so hard. I’ve never lived in any place longer than 5 years, and usually more like 2-3. (My dad was in the Navy.) Sometimes the internet is so interactive and immediate that I’m tempted to turn to it before making the effort of connecting with or establishing IRL friends, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a good idea. I think most people go through an initial honeymoon period with blogging particularly, and I just hope that you can find a good balance between enjoying your online and IRL lives (I’m still working on that).
Laura & others on the Visiting Teaching — I totally said this during my spiel, and for some reason they didn’t think it was as funny as I did.
Becky — I had Tara mail me her blog book from blurb so I could show everybody. They loved it! I wish blurb could do self-hosted sites, but so far it looks like I’d have to import my blog into wordpress.com first, blahblahblah. I love the idea of having a real book to hold in my hands — the biggest problem with online stuff is it’s just not the same as cuddling up in bed or the tub with a real book.
Western Warmth & Becky — I think the “keep a regular journal for the real ugly stuff/blog forces you to focus on brighter side” is interesting. I know my sister does this, and she benefits enormously, and there are times I wish I could write about things that are just inappropriate for a wide audience. So I agree; I’m just not very good at writing things down if I don’t have the motivation of knowing it’ll be “published.”
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I don’t normally comment twice, but I want to say something about the blogging “honeymoon” experience. When you first start blogging you have like SO MANY IDEAS that you can’t imagine running out. And then, you hit week 4 or maybe 6 and you’re like “dude, this is hard. I’ve got nothin’ to say”. That is the week that separates the real bloggers from the posers. Coming up with something to say 4 or 5 times a week is a lot harder than it looks. I know there are great bloggers out there that plan their week – you know, recipe on Monday, contest on Tuesday, etc but I’ve never been able to do this. I guess I’m too scattered. I do keep a blank journal in my purse so when I get an idea I don’t forget it. Idea creation is a lot harder than it looks and new bloggers shouldn’t be discouraged by this.
the cool part of blogging is getting ideas from other bloggers. There have been many times when I’ve read something on another person’s blog that inspired me to write something on mine.
I’m super tired, and I don’t think this making any sense, sooooo I’m going to stop talking now.
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I will say that thanks to stumbling on your blog, and then reading Natasha’s, and a few others around (gee, the Mormon Mommies really have a thing going with blogging! I’m wondering if there are as many Catholic or Anglican mums out there blogging?), I have discovered that Mormons don’t have like two heads, the whole non-Mormons going into the Temple isn’t a big “keep our stuff” secret, and are always men in white shirts with big black name tags, and whatever other strange ideas I might have had about Mormons (I think I knew about the alochol ‘thing’). I’ve probably had a bit more exposure in the last couple of years to elements of the FLDS, which I do understand is a breakaway group and not representative of the main church, thanks to shows like Big Love and some of the books about escaping from an FLDS life/family.
There’s still times when I don’t quite understand some of the things you discuss (visiting teaching for example), but I’ll get around to asking you about them, or searching on them.
I know you haven’t watched it, but I do want to say that I’ve never thought Big Love was in way representative of everyday Mormons. I know it’s a TV show, and I actually find it an interesting contrast to and sometimes analogous to one of my super trashy reality TV interests – the show that’s about the old Playboy guy and his three girlfriends who are old enough to be his GRAND daughters. In some ways, it’s not that different to a polygamist (FLDS or not) with three wives, and in other ways, it’s vastly different.
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I too had to teach a class, and it was interesting to compare the difference blogging is w/in the church and out of the church. I have changed a lot of my information but still know there is no 100% full proof way to keep it private.
One comment you made was on making friends. I have moved around a bit with my husband and five kids and am the same way…in that the best way to make friends is to reach out. I try to reach out to those new here in our community or Ward, because I have been there. There is no place harder to penetrate into the “mommy social scene” than here in Connecticut. However, it helps to go outside of your box a little. Blogging has certainly opened up some incredible opportunities and discussion.
Thanks for the great post.
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Love your blog, period. You have a great way of blogging about things that keeps it very real and interesting. A talent I have yet to develop.
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I started my blog to keep friends and family updated about our lives. I love blogging. I don’t have many close friends where we are now, even though I’ve been here almost 5 years, and my blog helps me feel that connection with friends that aren’t close by.
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I had a minute so I am perusing Jane’s past postings, and I sent a copy of this one to my daughters-in-law. I have to say I appreciate Kristy’s comment and her observation that BIG LOVE swims in the same reservoir as other escapist, trashy tv programs. Thanks, Kristy, for your open mind!
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I’m so happy I’m not the only one who may not be the perfect example of a Mormon but sure tries awfully darn hard.
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