I have lately come to the inevitable yet wrenching conclusion that Dick and I had no business marrying each other. We don’t fight (much) about sex, or money, or even politics, but we do struggle when it comes to the little things in life.
Things like NOT LOCKING the car when it’s in the garage or TURNING THE LIGHTS OFF in the car (so your wife doesn’t have to ride her bike 10 miles in the snow, pulling two solid kids along in the bike trailer, up over Unity Pass, elevation 5070) or FINDING A PLACE WE’VE BEEN TO SEVEN TIMES or SMELLING THE DIRTY DIAPER WITH HIS OWN NOSE.
And poor Dick might justifiably shake his head when I crash into the garage:
Or when I lock the keys in my car at the gas station or forget to pick up Sally on early-out day (for the fifth time in two months) or when I drag him to family functions at the last minute or when I forget to turn off the oven that’s on LOW to speed the rising of my rolls:
But when all of my featherbrained-ness happens in a very short week, compounded by HIS featherbrainedness, honestly, I just want to go back to bed and sleep until April.
And I fear for our children. I fear that one day Sally will be reading a book and forget to breathe and turn blue and asphyxiate and die. Because it’s complicated to read and breathe at the same time. Or, you know, drive and plan a blog post.
So here are my tips for the week:
1) Close all doors before pushing your dead car anywhere.
2) Turn off all the lights in your car so the battery doesn’t die. (twice).
3) Turn off the oven if you have plastic in there.
4) Change the baby’s diaper if it smells toxic. Ignoring it will NOT make it go away.
5) If you are a kindred spirit of Anne of Green Gables, marry someone down-to-earth and capable, like Gilbert.*
Jane
*There are some benefits of marrying someone equally feather-brained; they are usually good at understanding exactly why it was that you forgot to screw your head on in the morning.
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I esp. like the pic of the oven that Jane forgot.
Don’t feel bad. Our children are cursed with their parents’ clumsiness. Really. Becca trips over absolutely nothing and I hope that somebody somewhere is looking out for Thomas when the kid walks.
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I used to lock my keys in the car all the time… with it running even. I think I did that like 6 or 7 times… It got so bad that now I don’t let myself close the car door unless I have the keys in my hand. I still trip over my own feet on a regular basis and can’t remember to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer to save my life.
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Our Odyssey is red, too. Without the stripes though.
Someone needs a solo vacation, I think.
I forget to move the laundry because my husband turns the beeper all the way down. I forget piano even though I moved it to 9am so that there wouldn’t be a whole day’s worth of events distracting me. And I keep forgetting to buy Christmas presents for my kids and to tell my in-laws what they can get the kids. I said I’d do it last night but then I fell asleep at 5:30. For the night. Unbelievable.
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We all have our moments. At least you are able to admit (and so publicly) when you make mistakes and learn from them.
The plastic in the oven really makes me smile because it reminds me of when I started the toaster with plastic next to it and things melted. So, not fun.
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don’t feel bad… I have weeks like this EVERY week…
Its trickling down to the kids… J almost forgot his pants the other day.
Best of luck — stay away from the oven and sharp objects for a while
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So sorry you had such a bad week. And, yes, Gilbert Bly is going to be my next husband.
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Ok, I’m confused. Bear with me here as I do not even know how to bake my own rolls, but why was there plastic in the oven?
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Dr. Laura suggested today, that in cases like this (stress between man and wife), the first thing you need to do is have more sex. Make it fun and it could be the highlight of the week. Wink.. Wink.. WARNING: Sex leads to more children, which could lead to more light headedness (that is a word, right? sorry two of my own, I’m a case of extreme cotton brain) Love you, Thank you for sharing…..
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Jane! Friend! So sorry for your troubles! Admittedly, I am laughing, but at the same time really feeling for you! I actually had a post this summer entitled “stuff breaking down.” Sometimes when it rains it pours!
I once left a car running, unlocked, for over two hours at a mall parking lot. Came back, nothing gone, car still running. I love Iowans.
On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (2008), I turned my oven to the clean cycle. Came back a half hour later to see flames IN. MY. OVEN.
I left the water running in the laundry room utility sink and flooded my first floor. Twice.
Carolyn has some great advice… we tried going for 28 days in a row, and although we had to skip a couple of days, it did bring us closer together emotionally and logistically… which gave us more time to talk over our joint “to do” lists, and our house ran more efficiently.
Can’t help you with the diaper thing though!
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Featherbrainedness…what an awesome word coming from an English major
Seeing your melted pan in the oven saddens me…I know how tasty that bread/rolls would have been. Someday I need to master the art of baking bread.
See you in a few weeks!
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Oh! I had forgotten my first love…..thanks for reminding me about Gilbert! What a week you had last week, I hope this one is better. I really enjoyed your pictures, hopefully it was therapeutic to blog about it! Blessings to you this Christmas!
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MereCat — Yeah, there shouldn’t have been plastic in the oven. They were supposed to RISE in the plastic bowl, not BAKE. I put them in the oven so they’d be a bit warm to rise faster, but they got a LOT warm, and melted/cooked before their time.
Thanks for asking.
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