The end.
No — if you liked the books (the Twilight books, that is), you’ll probably like the movie. Even though Edward seems to be fighting dysenterial vomiting at the beginning rather than a burning desire for Bella’s blood, and even though Rosalie looks fat and ugly. (Sorry. I realize she’s probably a size 2, but her bum is big, and she’s not very pretty — should’ve tried Jennifer Siebel from Life).
Wow, looks like we're in need of a feeding. Know of any good deer herds 'round here?
Charlie, oh Charlie. Charlie is the awkward character in the books, the father with no idea what to do with his preternaturally “mature” daughter. In the movie, Charlie is the only character who acts rationally and says anything that actually makes sense. Plus he’s a lot yummier and younger than I had imagined. Let me comfort you, Charlie!
The biggest problem with the movie? (Besides the after-school special feel of several scenes and the pancake makeup over 7 o’clock shadows and the mushroom hair and too much lipstick on the men)?
Whereas while reading the books you can mentally insert Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lover-ness, blahblahblah, in a movie theater crowded with the target audience predisposed to LOVELOVELOVE the movie, there were way too many “romantic/tragic/romantic” scenes that got laughs instead.
I’m not sure why, but maybe it was just too much of a stretch to imagine any un-lobotomized person saying (out loud, in public, on purpose) “You won’t hurt me” “I trust you” “I DON’T CARE” upon first learning that the object of her desire is a vampire who wants nothing more on earth than to drain her body of blood.
I know you’re in love, it’s uncontrollable, it’s emotional, it’s perfect (except it’s not), and it’s sooooo REAL, but, geez, maybe you want to take a few minutes to think it over before extending your neck to someone not sure they can control themselves from KILLING YOU?
Hmm. Not sure why Chrysanthemum still looks hungry here. Girl needs a feeding, bad.
That said, I had a lot of fun going to the midnight showing with my Seagull Fountain friend Chrysanthemum, who was able to see Mormon themes of eternal life and perfected bodies and committed L.O.V.E., in the film. I only beg her that we not be covered in glitter after the Resurrection. Please?
Yeah, don't think those Rasinets are gonna do it, Chrys.
What’d you think? (And have you bought stock in Summit Entertainment yet?)
Jane
Tags: movie review, stephenie meyer, the twilight saga, twilight
Subscribe by email
I’m shocked, seriously shocked that the movie is as you described it. I’m not sure what anyone expected from the movie. You mean the movie was dripping with cheese? Hmmmm. As said before, I hated the book. I tried, really tried a couple of times to get through the second book hoping it was an improvement from the first. But I just couldn’t get past the unrealistic characters and cheesy love dialogue. I realize that this isn’t a very nice comment about a book millions of women love but I just really couldn’t stand the book. I was interested in the story but the way it was written….I was really excited to see the movie though because I had hoped the movie would be different. Too bad it sounds like it is not.
[Reply]
i had that problem with legends of the fall. just could not stop laughing, i got a lot of dirty looks.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..V-Day
[Reply]
First let me say your hair is lovely! Second so your friends with Holly Hunter? Third I loved loved loved the books. Fourth is spending eternity being loved and sparklie all that bad?
Gadyss last blog post..A Hunting We Will Go
[Reply]
Sorry, my name is Gladys not GADYS I’m having finger issues.
Gladyss last blog post..A Hunting We Will Go
[Reply]
I’m seeing it tomorrow with a friend so I will let you know. However,I teach college freshman and the girls in my Lit class said that if I had low expectations I would like it okay. They felt that the plot problems that do exist became very obvious in the film. However, they felt Jasper was “GORGEOUS” and that they would all be dreaming about him for months to come.
Beths last blog post..Tips To Writing A Great Holiday Newsletter
[Reply]
Jane – your hair!! I totally love it! At first I was thinking “who are these two people Jane has on her site?” Then I realized and I love love love it!
That is all. Didn’t read the books. Will wait til the movie is on HBO (which should be in like 2 weeks).
kikibibis last blog post..
[Reply]
I am so torn about this movie…haven’t seen it yet but not sure if I even want to. I really did love the book. I’ve read it five or six times and still enjoy it. But the movie cannot compare to my imagination, and I don’t want to be disappointed. In the end, though, I can’t help but want to see it. So I probably will.
Traceys last blog post..21 Months and Counting
[Reply]
we must be one of a kind, going to the midnight movie and blogging about it before everyone even got up……
the most disturbing part of the movie for me was the actor that played Edward. He is so ugly that during the first part of the movie I had to look down because i had a hard time looking at him. his nose was too small, he had too much make up, the hair had to go, and he was a skinny hairy guy. gross… actors should be easy on the eyes. oh well, i guess not everyone can be as buff and handsome as my husband!
sylwia
Cousin sylwias last blog post..Twilight the Movie/Film Zmierzch
[Reply]
Beth, Tracey (and others): I wanted to emphasize how attractive/interesting the Charlie character is — but maybe that just shows how old I am. In the book, Charlie’s a vague father figure, kinda frumpy. In the movie, he’s got the best lines and most rational motives/actions/reactions. He’s, what? A 40ish small town police chief trying to do his job well; a scrumptious, wounded divorce’ who still cares about his ex’s happiness; a loving father trying to show his daughter how much HER happiness and safety mean to him. Compare that to whiny, 17 yo Edward, and there’s no contest. He’s even making me re-think my “absolutely no mustaches” rule. Serious potential there. And reason enough to go see the movie, as he is not such an empathetic/appealing character in the book.
If you’re a die-hard fan of the books, I don’t think you’d be disappointed by the movie. I was ambivalent about both.
Also — Jasper looked scared — but at least that was better than how Edward spent the first 30 min looking like Bella was going to make him throw up.
[Reply]
So, what I’m really trying to say is “GO TEAM CHARLIE!” (not for Bella, of course, that’d be gross. But, you know, for me).
[Reply]
Thank you for your movie review. I just recently read the book and I have these glorious images in my head of what the characters looked like (I was spot-on for Bella.) So when I saw the movie trailer, I was a little disappointed in the selection of actors/actresses. I will go see the movie, but I already know that I am not going to love it.
Brindis last blog post..Watching Yo Gabba without Going Gaga
[Reply]
waaa! you guys are lucky you’ve seen it already
[Reply]
Well it is on my list to see this weekend with some friends. I look at movies that are based on films to be their own species. Otherwise I would have thrown things at the screen during most of Potter movies, kicked the people in the Sisterhood movies, and really been livid during any Nicholas Sparks movie. But movies are based off of another’s imagination never quite get everyones represented.
Aww I liked Edward when he was Cedric, maybe its the makeup.
[Reply]
I’m starting to feel like the only one who hasn’t seen this yet. Whats wrong with me?!? I just don’t have the time, I swear!
[Reply]