The perfect romance novel of all time is The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery. It was great when I was an innocent twelve, and it’s fantastic now that I’m the 31 year-old mother of three girls, who I would love to have read every single word of Montgomery’s. In fact, if they wanted to read her books and short stories all day long, I’d never make them go to school. I would never ask someone reading Anne of Green Gables to come set the table (see how glad you are that you decided to read the archives of Mom’s blog, 12 year-old Sally?).
If I ever wrote a book and someone (who knew where I got my first and third daughters’ names) said it reminded them of an L.M.Montgomery book, I would lock myself in the bathroom and cry happy tears for three days straight. And then come out and read the Emily of New Moon trilogy again.
So that’s my literary standard. I’ve also read just about every other kind of romance there is, from the classic to the near-pornographic. I’m a Mormon (didn’t say a good one), a woman, a BA-in-English reader, a mom, a wife, a sometime-aspiring writer, and I have to tell you what I think about Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga, because either you’ve never heard of them and could care less, or you have heard and could care less or you’ve read them all and (love or hate them) have talked/blogged/read enough of other people’s reviews to care less about yet another review.
Still, I have to say that I am conflicted by the Twilight Saga — indeed, one could say, if one were inclined toward impassioned prose, that I want to both love them forever and to sink my teeth into them and drain all the blood from their weak, helpless bodies.
First I’ll admit that I’m jealous of Stephenie Meyer’s success. I’m jealous of her book tours and her new house, and that she never has to cook anymore, and I’m pretty sure she’s hired a cleaner and child-minder. But even more, I’m jealous of her inspiration and focus. That she dreamed a plot and then that she sat down and actually wrote the whole ding-dang thing. So that’s some of the conflict, but mostly it’s that the English major/fangirl/Mormon/Mom/latent feminist in me see the books very differently.
+++SPOILER WARNING+++
As a BA-in-English Reader
Holy get-an-editor, Batman. The first 75+ pages of Breaking Dawn should have been a 5-page epilogue to book three. If I’d picked up the last book in the series without having read the first three or being invested in the characters, I would have been able to put it down and never look back. I get that extreme popularity is an overwhelming validation of good-enoughness, but, these books are lazy. Lazy writing, lazy editing, lazy including-of-every-stray-thought lazy.
One plot point in particular — They’re terrified for Bella to see her own daughter, yet have no fear that the vampire witnesses will be tempted to drink Renesmee’s blood after they smell her half-humanness and listen to her heartbeat. These are vampires WHO KILL HUMANS on purpose. Wuh? Maybe if an editor had read the book this could’ve been discussed? Lazy.
As a Fangirl
I couldn’t put any of the books down. I love that all the ends tied up neatly, that Jacob imprinted on she-with-the-worst-name ever, that Bella got to finally become a vampire, that the vampires and werewolves (shapeshifters — whatever) are all friends. Things turning out well and happily-ever-afters divide enjoyable fiction from serious fiction, and thank goodness for that.
As a Mormon Mother
After Breaking Dawn, I agreed with Tara that how Stephenie Meyer handled the sex/intimacy in the book was fantastic. Meyer portrayed desire without any body parts heaving or throbbing. She also expressed the uncertainty (after months of anticipation) that surprised me on my own wedding night:
I was freaking out because I had no idea how to do this, and I was afraid to walk out of this room and face the unknown. . . .
How did people do this – swallow all their fears and trust someone else so implicitly with every imperfection and fear they had – with less than the absolute commitment Edward had given me? If it weren’t Edward out there, if I didn’t know in every cell of my body that he loved me as much as I loved him—unconditionally and irrevocably and, to be honest, irrationally, I’d never be able to get up off this floor. (p 83)
When Dick tried to get to second-base after our wedding ceremony and before our reception that night, I felt so weird. If you’ve spent 21 years believeing that all sexual intimacy should be reserved for marriage, suddenly being able to express all the desire that has been raging in your body is heady, frightening, exhilirating, nauseating.
And if you’re as lucky as I was, your 23-year-old husband is even more clueless about how the whole process will even work. Ten years later, the fact that, through faith and goodness on his part and, really, blind luck and strange circumstances on my part, the first time we ever experienced connubial bliss was with each other is really one of the biggest wonderful things in my entire life.
Does that sound naive and silly? I want that for my daughters — their own purity and their husbands’. I have good friends, friends I love like sisters who, through different beliefs, different experiences, or just different lives, had slightly different wedding nights. And most of them have wonderful marriages to incredible men. (And on the other side, my sweet sister who never even kissed a boy before her husband is going through a sad divorce. Obviously, virginity guarantees nothing, and experience doesn’t dictate disaster.) But this is still what I pray for for my daughters.
That doesn’t mean I think Edward is the archetypal husbandly-ideal, despite his refusal to sleep with Bella outside of marriage. I like that Mormons revere chastity. But it is incredible to me that fornication is so bad in Mormon terms that the fact that Edward has murdered people is a mere footnote next to the big headlines about his never having been impure. Sure, he now only hunts wild animals, we believe in repentance, yadda yadda, but last time I checked, you could repent for fornication, as well.
So for a woman who has read stuff she really ought not to have read, Breaking Dawn handles newly-married physical intimacy with exquisite appropriateness. But would I want my daughter reading it? This is important not only because I am liberal in the reading department, but because these books are intended for the tween-and-up crowd. If I’m praying daily (or should be) that my daughters will go to their wedding nights MUCH more unaware than I was, I’ll have to seriously consider that.
Other Mormon-ish ideas include the belief in a never-dying soul, the ideal of eternal love, the importance of forming families. My cousin even pointed out that the Cullen vampire coven/family could be similar to the Mormon pioneers in that they’re driven from place to place and misunderstood, but once you get to know them, they’re not so bad.
As a Latent (I hate wearing a bra, but I haven’t burned it yet) Feminist
Bella’s passivity irks. Oh, how it irks. Her existence having absolutely no meaning outside of Edward bites the big tuna. Because Edward is not even that exciting. He’s obsessed with expensive cars, he probably wears cashmere sweaters, and you can’t even warm your feet on his legs at night. What’s to like? And Jacob — what a whiny werewolf. Seriously have not ever read of such a melancholy, effeminate “hero” since Romeo. He’s almost worse than Bella in the “my life is ooooo-ver if I can’t have yoooooouuu” department. At least he’s warm.
But — the baby as parasite! The pregnancy and motherhood as point of entry to actual adulthood (and in Bella’s case person-hood). Oh, how it sings to me. If you’ve breastfed and never once thought of how that darling suckling has quite a bit in common with a vampire, you are less imaginative than I. I love how the baby almost kills her, and yet she is willing to die for it. Die for want of Edward = Let me vomit. Die for baby-love = I actually understand this.
And when Bella becomes a vampire, she almost seems to have her own will. She realizes she is not the center of the universe and that everything is not actually her fault. Of course, this is because all blame for everything since World War II now shifts to her child, but like every good mother she lies to Renesmee and shifts blame back to the bad vampires. Where it probably belonged in the first place.
We should all be so lucky
The best criticism I’ve read of the Twilight Saga was a comment on Mormon Mommy Wars after the third book came out. Someone said that she hated the books — all three of them. If I could be assured of that kind of negative reaction, along with sentiments like this comment I once got: “You obviously suck at reviewing a good book, can’t wait till yours is out so we can smear it,” I’d probably start writing tomorrow. Especially if there were any chance I could stop cooking and start book-touring when I was finished.
Twilight Review Links (if you just can’t get enough) (if you have or know of another review and would like to be on this list, comment or email me, and I’ll add you).
First, if you hated Ruh-nez-mee as much as I did (esp. with the cute Carlie as an alternative!), try Mormonizing your name. The phenomenon of making up your own name is not unique to Mormons, of course: look at celebrities and people who live in Harlem. But somehow I feel like we should know better, or just use some good, old Biblical names, like Keturah.
Gail Collins at the New York Times called Bella A Virgin Goth Girl, and worries that Edward is to the average male as a female porn star is to the average female.
In the same vein, Mormon Mentality discusses whether the objectification of Edward/men is seriously unhealthy. (hat tip to Conscious Intention for those two links, via Feminist Mormon Housewives which is discussing Twilight/Mormonism right now.
Normal Mormon Husbands has done quite a few Twilight posts. Here’s The Twilight Series for Dummies (And Totally Desperate Mormon Guys), and here’s Breaking Dawn: The Spoof. Sometimes I tell myself that I could be funny and interesting if only I had more time. And then I realize I’d also need talent.
Sue at Navel Gazing at its Finest is hilarious, and here’s Why I think Twilight Sucks and Other Important Thoughts. Yeah, talent would probably help in the funny and interesting department (Sue’s pretty busy, I imagine!).
Here’s Laura William’s Twilight Thus Far. I think she nails why Bella’s character is a bit unsatisfying.
Mormon Mommy War’s the Wiz reviews Breaking Dawn.
Entertainment Weekly’s 10 part interview with Stephenie Meyer, in which she says she wrote the books for herself and her adult sister (but still I think, as a Mormon, mother, writer, something, she can’t just shrug off the fact that her publishing company markets them to 12 year olds). (hat tip Mom of 3 Crazy Kids).
And can I just make one request: It would make my life so much more complete if Seriously So Blessed would do a review of Twilight. Seriously am on the edge of my seat to see what she (they? it?) would say!
Tags: anne of green gables, book review, books, l.m.montgomery, mormons, motherhood, reading, stephenie meyer, the blue castle, twilight saga




I didn’t read most of your post because I have not read Breaking Dawn yet and I want to read it before I read any reviews on it. I am interested to see if we think the same about it. I have to agree whole-heartedly with your first paragraph. Callie got The Blue Castle off the bookshelf the other day and asked me to read it to her. I read the first page and a half before she lost interest. Maybe she is still a little young yet.
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Holy get-an-editor, Batman! Love that line and might gently nudge it back to you. But I’m probably just jealous that I can’t crank out over 1500 words at all – let alone with such great points and obvious literary merit. I think if you ever did write your novel, Stephenie Meyer would have some jealousy issues with you. But don’t let it be one of those, “Let people think I would fabulous if I tried, but I don’t want to actually do it and risk proving them wrong.”
I agreed with most of your points, although less strongly about Bella’s can’t-live-without-Edward attitude. Also the part about Edward being hailed a hero for being chaste – don’t remember that part in the book. I like that he is appalled and so upset with himself for not being the perfect vegetarian Vampire. But I don’t remember him ever saying he had never had sex with anyone, just that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with that one chick, who was all hot for him. But maybe I missed it. It happens.
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I couldn’t get over the horrible name for the vampire baby. I couldn’t even say it in my mind when reading. I’m with you, the fangirl in my liked the happily ever after ending but I have to admit there were quite a few mental eye rolls throughout the book. Who am I kidding though? I’d sell my soul to Satan himself for that kind of success and a cook. I also wonder often as the mother of two girls, how to raise them to not be so freaked out by sex. For years we are taught that it’s “next to murder” and then *poof* we are supposed to have no problem. I’m working on being much more open than my parents were. I’m just going to put a plug in for the Emily of New Moon series. As a young girl I found those books more appealing than the Anne series. Oh and I jumped over here from Marcy’s blog.
Sheas last blog post..Maybe this is why Ryan doesn’t send me flowers
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I started to make a comment and then it got a little long, so I just decided to change it into a post on my blog. So yeah. Good review.
Laura Williamss last blog post..Twilight, Thus Far
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Dude! (Tara) — my post was only, um . . . hmmm. I guess it was a bit over 1500 words. I did look it over a couple times, while the kids waited in the car. Maybe some more serious editing than that? but every word is SO PRECIOUS.
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And I didn’t even mention the whole issues with Edward sleeping (literally) with her every night. Just FYI Sally, if you read this: If you feel like you have to keep something secret from your (relatively not-so-prudish) mother (like, for example, your BOYFRIEND SLEEPING IN YOUR BED AT NIGHT), then it’s probably not a good idea. In other words, if I ever catch a boy in your bed, you will be grounded until you’re 35, I don’t care how undead and virtuous he is.
(Actually, how Bella and Edward slept, with her swaddled so she wouldn’t get cold, kind of reminded me of the Puritan(?) practice of bundling.)
Also, I didn’t add links to a bunch of other reviews like I meant to. Maybe when the kids go down for naps.
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Oh, I should just go edit my comments, but also, plus, Tara, it was in the third book that Edward said he was a virgin. And asked Bella if she would want him to sully that purity after he’s already stained from being a MURDERER. Frankly, I’m thinking if you’ve killed someone, sleeping around really ain’t so bad (but don’t be getting any ideas, Sally!).
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Well thought out and well written. I agreed with pretty much everything you said. Although I didn’t really look at it as reflective of anything Mormon (excepting chastity) as I was reading it.
Summers last blog post..My Mother, My Friend
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Ah, I was another hopeless L.M. Montgomery and Anne of Green Gables (and so on) reader. I haven’t read any of Stephenie Meyer’s books yet but I have ILL’d them with the intent of a reading gorge/fest once I finish my dissertation manuscript.
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So all along I thought I was the only person/mom/mormon/girl in the whole world that just wasn’t digging Twilight…only to open up FMH and realize there is a whole community of people out there who can see a little more of what I see…Hooray!
I’m pretty harsh and I’m going to save my review and blog post for after I’m finished with the fourth book (I’m giving it a chance at least), but the first three were not for me. Yeah, you wonder why I keep reading…it’s because of the hype. I have to understand why some very intelligent, very bright, female friends of mine are so in love.
It’s a little scary to read some of the posts on the twilightmoms.com forum. I can’t imagine how you can get THAT caught up that you find yourself obsessing about characters that are not only fictional, but are controlling, mentally abusive and boring people…errr…entities or whatever.
I guess I’m mostly just trying to say, good post. It is nice to have some refreshing perspective other than “Who did you fall for first? Jacob or Edward???”
Julias last blog post..It’s Been a Long Time, Now I’m Coming Back Home
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I just finished the second book myself. I’ve been reading them slowly because I only get them when they’re cheap. I totally agree about the editor thing, I really doubt anything was edited. The scenes with no purposes that drag on for pages and pages… the editor in me hate that, but the reader in me didn’t mind. Pointless as they were, they were enjoyable to read.
Now that I’ve read the second book I see Bella a little differently. I couldn’t stand her in the first book, she was so whiny and just stupid. Her character is much more understandable in the second book, except when she’s reunited with Edward and suddenly turns into little miss Perky McPerk in a cheerleading skirt. I’d be pissed! I’d be slapping him and requiring answers and promises!
It does bother me the extreme closeness to Edward Bella feels. I can very much relate to feeling you’ve lost your soul mate, and wondering about moving on, wondering if your heart and go in another direction. But what she describes is beyond Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet is tragic, star-crossed, all that. Bella and Edward, vampirism aside, is just unhealthy.
After the obvious Romeo and Juliet correlation in New Moon, and the apparent correlation with Wuthering Heights being presented in the teaser for Eclipse, I’m thinking I should go back and look for the literature reference in Twilight. I think there must be one. I remember her constantly referring to a book but can’t remember what it was, did you notice this?
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WELL. That was a lot of links. I only checked out a few because I said on Twitter that I was going to bed and that was at 10:40. My Mormon name, BTW, is Katasha Celestial Glory. I can’t believe the insane Utah names. It makes us look bad. Because the chain of non-Mormon logic goes: Anyone who names their kid BenDonna or LaVonn can’t be very smart. Which makes sense, because they’re Mormon. You’d only be Mormon if you’re not very smart.
Sigh.
I haven’t read these books and your review made me uninterested in reading them. That one snippet was too… simple for me. Maybe that’s why it’s marketed to 12-year-olds.
There are just so many other books out there to read that I KNOW I will love, that challenge me, that speak to me in poetry and passion. Why waste my time reading something I’m not sure I’d like just because my friends who DON’T read Anna Karenina like it?
Hmmm… I think I’ll check out your other links later. Right now, my eyes are half closed. ;-P
Natasha Becoming Somethings last blog post..Happy birthday my stunning 7-year old.
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Yes, the Twilight series is very easy reading. But it’s definitely enjoyable. I read to be entertained, for escapism, mostly. I did read (and review) The Suicide Index recently, and it had scintillating prose. Inspired me to read more “real” books (not that I have, yet).
I confess I have not read Anna Karennina, but I have seen the John Cusack/Meg Ryan animated Anastasia — does that count?
As for wasting your time, you could always try a couple pages of Twilight, but I bet (since the first was the best) that you’ll be hooked!
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amen to most of that. i agree, holy batman she needed an editor… and possibly someone who wrote well! i have only read the first book and i refuse to read the rest. i just think there is much better literature out there for me to spend my time on. i am still not quite clear why this has become such the phenom that it is.
nice shout out to anne of green gables!
robins last blog post..winded.
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I felt conflicted about this series as well. You have to come over and read my Breaking Dawn Review.
Bluestockings last blog post..What’s on Your Nightstand? 2
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I have seen a lot of people reading the twilight series. I have stayed away because vampires aren’t really my thing, but I am thinking I am going to have to give it a shot.
Lindsays last blog post..What’s on Your Nightstand – August 2008
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My roommate/best friend is reading this series right now.
I don’t expect I’ll give it a whirl anytime soon, just not big on the whole vampire thing, but your thoughts on the subject were very interesting!
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How neat to layer that in!! I was so glad you linked up, because I’ve been meaning to pop over here forever, and between getting ready for vacation, going on vacation, and recovering from vacation AND back-to-school time, I haven’t been doing much blog popping.
I sort of skimmed the middle part of the review, because I haven’t read them yet and want to be surprised, but I’m with you on the tweenish stuff. I try to steer my bookworm daughter away from too much romance for that reason. I was reading Danielle Steele as a young teen (certainly by 14 or 15 I think), and that’s not really necessary.
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[...] show Fringe, and I have to tell you that Bella’s pregnancy and delivery in Breaking Dawn was my favorite part of that book. I loved how Re-gag-me was a vampiric parasite, much like all babies, who leach the calcium from [...]
I sort of like the review. I think that the book was a bit too long and the editor did not do their job correctly. But I don’t think the writing was lazy. Just the editing was lazy. Look how long the book is! Stephenie obviously isn’t lazy. And as Bella stated in BD, Renesmee didn’t smell that tastey to her, and she was a new born. So obviously the other vamipires would be able to control themselves. And the Cullens only invited vampires who would respect their land and go outside forks to hunt. Weren’t you paying attention to that?
And and totally understand Edward’s need to be pure until marriage. He has committed every sin possible except sex before marriage. Thats the ONE thing he hasn’t done and i can understand the his need to at least have not broken one rule. The reason he murdered was because he was thristy, he couldn’t control himself. But as a human he was raised in 1901, and I would guess that he was raised to believe that sex before marriage was wrong. Its completely understandable.
I loved Jake’s section, it was a breath of fresh air from all the madness. It was so good to hear someone else’s POV because Bella was getting a tad annoying lol. Jake is such a sweet boy, and in BD he’s so much more easy to realate to because he’s more human then Bella and isn’t making dangerous decisions. And his sense of humour is brilliant! And my heart just broke for him as he tried to prepare himself for Bella’s death and when Edward told him that Bella would be giving birth the next day, instead of 4 days later i nearly cried!
And when Edward broke down infront of Jake and asked him to kill him the minute Bella’s heart stopped, I nearly cried too. It was such a powerful, emotional scene. When Edward read Nessie’s mind through the womb and finally realised that he was going to be a father I swear my uterus skipped a beat haha.
The “morning after” scene was very good, when Edward and Bella argue over her bruises. It was very true to the characters.
In general I really liked the book. I found the ending to be a bit of a let down but this book is still really good. Bella discovering her vampire abilities and senses was very cool. Nessie was simply adorable. I liked the happy ending even though I wanted Rose to die lol.
If you would like to disscuss further please email me on babes412@gmail.com
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Kerrie — Glad you enjoyed the book. I didn’t know one’s uterus could skip a beat.
I think it being so long is an indication of laziness, rather than proof of hardwork. I think tight, clever writing is harder and takes more time than free-writing first-drafting.
Also, the witnesses might have agreed to hunt outside the Cullen’s territory, but it seems to me that vampires who indulge in the hunger to eat humans every day would be harder-pressed to refrain from eating (even a half-)human than her newly-born-as-a-vampire mother. And it wasn’t just that Re-gag-me’s smell was different from other humans’. Bella was able to refrain from hunting the human hikers, too. I just think the total lack of concern they had on that part was inconsistent.
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So many of your comments were forwarded to me, I had to respond. As the author of Unsteady: What Every Parent Absolutely Must Know About Teenage Romance, people always ask me if Twilight is really safe for teens. My answer is sure, as long as we don’t confuse fantasy with reality. Too many moms (quoted in the Wall Street Journal) saw Twilight as a primer for their daughters to determine qualities they must have in a boyfriend. We do our daughters a huge disservice if we lead them to believe Edwards could exist in real life. They might naively invite their boyfriends to sleep with them all night, assuming human boys have the same self-control as a 100-year-old vampire. Frankly, I have been preaching against adolescent romance since I first spoke on BYU TV six years ago. I worry that Stephanie Meyer has completely undone all my hard work. Like any romance novelist, she paints an unrealistic picture that teenagers are too inexperienced to see through.
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i know everybody has an opinion BUT omg. Way to bash one of the best books i’ve ever read. You want people to read not put a book down, its called intelligence, and people these days just don’t read. It was an awful review and i say that you don’t deserve to call yourself one of the people who read the series. Do you know why Stephenie Meyer is successful??? BECAUSE SHE’S ACTUALLY A GOOD!!!!! WRITER!!!!!! Sorry I just defend things I feel for..no offence!
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by the way your depiction of the characters was horrible, and renesme’s name is beautiful and different. again your just green with envy!!!!!!!!!!!1
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nonyabusiness — I assume that your creative use of rhetoric, grammar, and punctuation is a new form of satire, but I confess that I am too unsophisticated to appreciate it.
Stephenie Meyer is successful because she is a good storyteller. She is not a good writer, as that term is generally used.
If, however, you determine “good”ness solely by financial succcess, Paris Hilton is one of the most talented, “good,” uh, actresses?
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LOL. Jane, I think that was a teenager. TONS of people read. Maybe just not her friends. Maybe not her until this series. Yep, there’s a book for everyone.
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I love the books but I too feel that it is lazy writer. Good story? absolutely. Bad writing? yeah, it’s weak. I’ve read them all and I’m sure I will let my daughter and son read them but they aren’t as well written as the Harry Potter series or Anne of Green Gables.
Don’t worry Jane – we’re English majors, we’re literary snobs. I’m cool with it.
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I struggled with English and literature all my 30 some years(math makes sense to me), so I’ve never been much of a reader. But about 7 years ago I picked up one of my daughter’s Harry Potter books and fell in love with reading. I think I look at books differently then most, I fall in love with the characters and the story. I love the Twlight series for that reason. I didn’t have to think; just sit back and escape for a while. The 1st is my favorite, the others didn’t seem to have the same feeling as it did. E and NM were good,but didn’t have the sparkle that the 1st did. BD was a good ending and I had a few tearful moments too. I am always looking for a new and different book, so i will try The Blue Castle next.Thanks for your review and I am looking forward to reading one of your favorites.
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Okay am I the only one who thought that Bella isn’t the only one who is being a bit whiny? Seriously Its a book for people my age(12)! They aren’t gonna put the biggest effort into this! I do agree about the sex thing, but I think its a bit much when you start to venture into your own memories/life. I might not be seeing this through a mother’s eye, but when I grow up and have my own children I’m going to understand that no matter what my kids probably won’t wait until marriage and will definitely know about sex. It is pretty much inevitable. I think for people my age it is an easy book to relate to. Sure its a little slo, but this series will definitely make oyu think.
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Will it, Ellen? Will it?
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Twilight has sunk its proverbial teeth into pop culture since the film’s release on Nov. 21. By now, your tweens and teens have probably seen the box-office winner multiple times – and maybe you have, too!
The wildly popular vampire romance is as big a hit with the adult set as it is with kids, and Common Sense Media has plenty of content to help you enjoy Twilight right alongside your kids, including an exclusive, one-on-one video interview with your daughter’s newest crush, Twilight star Robert Pattinson at http://www.commonsensemedia.org
Common Sense Media is a nonprofit, nonpartisan resource dedicated to helping families and educators teach kids how to thrive in a media-driven world.
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Are you implying that I have talent? Wow. Thanks for the compliment.
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