Is there anything worse than the perfume-pushers at department stores who douse the unwary? Probably not, but I also don’t like fashion or makeup or shopping. My ovaries have even failed me in my laundry endeavors. In fact, it is entirely possible that I am not a woman at all, except for those three children who miraculously arrived to suckle at my bosom and sing Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam all day.
Most of the time when people talk about fashion, I think of the Emperor’s New Clothes fairytale. Or Thoreau, who advised: “beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.” This is when I’m not thinking about other intellectual things like what’s for dinner and what was on TV last night.
Fashion is a creative, subjective thing. One person’s [insert high-fashion label] is another person’s thrift shop bargain (unless by thrift you mean “vintage,” in which case they really ARE the same thing). Consider this ring featured in The New York Times.
The comments were the best thing about this column, proving again that the Internet really is like manna, a gift from Heaven that nourishes and allows the unempowered a format for correcting the hubris of salaried journalistas. Here are just a few:
is that my highschool ring? (Mary)
What a find! It must be really difficult to research and source these unique items, what with a Banana Republic on every other corner in NYC and most shopping malls around the country. Maybe you could do a piece on gum ball machine jewelry too. (Sar Casm)
That is one ugly ring — why not go to Salvation Army or Goodwill and pick up something for $1? (Casino Con)
Man, I love the internet. Only, let’s not diss Salvation Army, ok?
Speaking of fashion and motherhood, though, my good friend Andrea dropped out of high school to marry her high school sweetheart. (And no, she didn’t “have to”). She later took the GED and got a plaque from the state of Utah congratulating her on getting the high score that year. Then she became a pharamicist, and then later she said something profound about fashion and motherhood, which brought me a lot of vindicatory satisfaction at the time.
In her visits with new mothers at the hospital, Andrea said she could often tell which mothers were going to breastfeed by how they looked after the birth. Breastfeeding was less common in those mothers who fussed over their hair and clothes and makeup than those who looked like death warmed over. Since I looked like death not even warmed over after giving birth, I thought this sounded only fair. Who has time/energy/desire to primp with a bloodsucking eel attached 24/7?
Then Mrs. Fussypants had to go and give birth to her fifth boy child. And then she had to go and wear pearls. And earrings. And, is that mascara? And I KNOW she breastfeeds.
At least she did have to suffer the crime against humanity known as the hospital gown. Otherwise I’d have to hate her. As it is, I’m thinking I need to reconsider my principled stand against Beautified Mother Barbie. Now that Barbie breastfeeds, and all.
p.s. Thanks to Fussy for allowing me to use her picture.
p.p.s. I didn’t ask Andrea’s permission before outing her as a smart high school dropout and probably misrepresenting her words egregiously. I hope she can forgive me.
Tags: breastfeeding, fashion, fight the frump, motherhood, the moment blog
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Okay, I lost my comment halfway while typing…anyway I was starting to say something about my funky postpartum outfits, which could be described as follows:
- tank top style sports bra (didn’t have a nursing bra yet, this allowed easy pull-down access)
- on top of that, a scoop-neck t-shirt (pull-down access)
- on top of that, one of Eric’s old button-down plaid flannel shirts (I was cold, especially exposing so much skin, so this kept me warm)
- old yoga/painting pants
- hair done in a braid or ponytail
Oh yeah, I was so stylish! I did buy a few cute pull-over/pull-down nursing tops and those were great–I felt cute and stylish and still had 100% open access to the boob, which I needed the first several weeks.
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I had to comment on this entry. First of all, very funny. Second of all, yes, yes I did wear earrings and makeup to my last birth and YES I nurse those babies until they’re walking and talking. Ha! It’s a new day!
I very nearly started to straighten my hair when the contractions got to be about 2 minutes apart with my first before my husband brought me to my senses. What can I say? I’m VAIN breastfeeding mom.
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man – wish I could have looked that good after my little guy was born…or today, for that matter! LOL Love the pearls!
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Okay, that is just wrong on so many levels. I feel like such a frumpy, dumpy dork. Pearls? While Pushing? Maybe to bring the eye up to the face instead of down to the nether regions? I’m in awe of Mrs. Fussypants.
Tereses last blog post..New Parents on a Friday Night
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I actually think it’s kind of sad that she thinks only women who aren’t concerned about their looks breastfeed… It’s probably a good stereotype, but it’d be nice to change that bias, don’t you think?
And that ring is HIDEOUS.
traceys last blog post..The house began to twitch…
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i love ya! great post.
Mrs. Fussypantss last blog post..Fussy’s Frump Fightin’ Manifesto
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Rixa — Thanks for sharing this. You and Zari both look so adorable in your pictures on your blog that it’s good to know that you’re not ALWAYS so stunningly put together.
Azucar — Feel free to comment anytime. Love the almost straightening part. I wish I had patience to straighten anytime, much less to think about it while in labor!
Tracey –Aack! I knew there was a reason I shouldn’t try to quote someone on something they said offhand about 8 years ago. Although, I don’t think you meant to say that my friend is biased, just that a general stereotype of frumpy housewives exists, which it surely does, despite the Desparate Housewives-slutty look.:) That’s, after all, the whole point behind the Fight the Frump thing at Mrs. Fussypant’s.
My friend is both gorgeous and has breastfed 3 boys. I just liked what she said because it gave me an excuse (as if I needed one) to keep on with my slovenly ways. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel better!
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Don’t worry. I feel honored whenever I am mentioned in this blog. I think I just meant the “earthier” looking moms breastfed and the “Barbier” looking ones were less likely to breastfeed. By the way, I am currently (proudly) breastfeeding–literally right now awkwardly as I type.
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I love the new sidebar pics of your chillins. How did you get Spot to smile so well? Like the book review and recipe buttons too. Look at you go!
Lady Lyns last blog post..Our Precious Treasures
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I know I didn’t look my best after the baby, but I do make sure I go all out for church! Actually, I think I might have been wearing pearl earrings and my nails were nice and long when she was born- but that’s only because I had been laboring for 2 days and hadn’t been biting them!
TopHats last blog post..Friday Fill-ins
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For the first… six months, maybe, after each baby I was a lost cause – pajama pants and sweatshirts were about all I was up for. But I dress much better NOW (although I still don’t wear pearls, sadly.).
Becks last blog post..The Saddest Pie In The World
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