Like the Man Cold, Man Laundry is similar to Woman Laundry, yet inexplicable in execution. Why can’t a man do laundry like a woman?
It’s not a matter of intelligence, of course. Dick went to graduate school at an Ivy League Institution, but really that is nothing compared to the fact that last night he cleaned up copious amounts of Sally’s spaghetti vomit. He even threw the bedding in the washing machine.
I know, I know: I should be happy that he knows where the washer and dryer are, and stop with the quibbling about how it gets done. So, I will restrict myself to giving one simple tip for Man Laundry. A tip that I know Dick is eager to learn.
Eager because he actually asked me today why I buy liquid detergent when it has such a serious design flaw. And he might have a point. Men often approach household matters from a fresh, innovative perspective.
The wisest thing my brother-in-law ever said was in defence of hanging the toilet paper the wrong way. “It’s harder for the kids to unroll it that way.” I ran some experiments to test this theory, and, much as it pains me, I have to say he’s right: It is harder for a malevolent 18-month old to waste an entire roll of toilet paper if it is not flapping on the top.
Man Laundry Tip
To avoid this:
And this:
Rinse the dispenser in the water as it fills the washer. To be more specific: 1) dump the detergent in the washer, 2) fill the dispenser with the water pouring in, 3) dump the dispenser (in the washer), and 4) repeat as necessary.
Dick says that he does rinse the cap once, and I conceded that it often takes seven or eight rinses. Whenever I stand at the washer and rinse the cap, I remember Mr. Raine’s chemistry class, and how he taught us that scientific principle where each time you do something like rinse a cap, you never get all of the detergent out. Instead, each time you get a certain percentage, and so you have to do it over and over to get that same percentage of whatever’s left. You’d think that since I remember this from high school that I’d remember what it was actually called and be able to describe it coherently, but then you’d remember that I have three kids and am lazy.
Anyway, Dick thinks the fact that you have to rinse the cap eight times means that it’s engineered wrong. All I know is that our water is so hard that powdered detergent often doesn’t dissolve, and since I am a granola-girl dropout, I don’t see homemade detergent in my near future. I did buy this liquid stuff at Costco, though, so all the free food samples surely cancel out the flagrant misuse of monetary resources.
Next time we’ll cover:
1) Hot water is for whites, only.
2) Building relationships with pre-wash treatments.
3) Sorting by color is not really optional, especially if #1 has not been mastered.
4) Not drying shrinkable, favorite pieces of clothing (especially if your wife is getting fatter anyway).
5) Removing crayons from pockets BEFORE placing in dryer (bonus points for not mentioning that your wife has done that one before).
Any other ideas for Man Laundry Tips?
Tags: housekeeping, laundry tips, men, works for me
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My question is why don’t you just throw the dirty dispenser in the laundry with everything else (after pouring of course). That way it will be very clean when you get it out and you don’t have to waste tons of time rinsing the stupid thing out. BRILLIANT.
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Okay, I have to agree with Dick on this one. I bought a bottle of Tide with that same design, and it IS engineered wrong – it is impossible to pour it without making a huge mess. Yuck. I did a happy dance when my Tide was all gone and I didn’t have to use that crappy bottle anymore!
P.S. At least Dick stuck something in the washer – I don’t think Eric’s done laundry since he was about 10.
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Okay, I guess I do “man laundry.” Except I NEVER use hot water, I wash everything on cold. But I don’t do any sorting, I just throw everything in together, and have never had any negative repercussions. And I only use powdered detergent too.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..A complete library in the palm of your hand.
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Check pockets for leftover paper including tissues, receipts, candy wrappers and other sundry items that seem to explode into a thousand tiny pieces of white lint that sprinkle themselves throughout the entire load of darks once in the dryer. Not that this has EVER happened to me.
Beths last blog post..Deep Breath
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On my “gain- joyful expressions” it does say to just throw the dispenser container in with the wash. i do that everytime- it always comes out clean as can be! and- if you accidentally throw it in the dryer, it doesn’t get ruined! i do it with all brands of detergent that i buy. (yes, i have to buy different brands for different people)
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Brock — I knew that some man would figure out a better solution (just like with the toilet paper roll). I guess I am just too close to the situation
to approach it RATIONALLY. Though I was enjoying the reminiscences (I bet Melinda remembers what I’m talking about).
Susan — Yes, Dick felt completely vindicated after reading my post and your comments. And yes, it is simply wonderful that he does it at all!
Marie — I will be buying powdered next time. The only thing with that is that I have to let it soak and agitate for a long time to dissolve. Which is fine, because we are really hard on clothes, so the soaking is good.
Beth — Oh, that has NEVER happened to me, either. I have noticed that mistakes in the washer are a LOT easier to correct than mistakes in the dryer.
Suzie — Gee, you think it might help if I READ THE DIRECTIONS once in awhile? It probably says that on the Tide, but, since I have ovaries, I assumed I know how to do laundry already. I’d kill a man for making assumptions about me like that. Thanks for the advice!
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I love how you’re not dismissing his analysis for his obvious lack of practical experience. He may have a point, but you have m4d relationship skilz.
I am amused that you think the guy who washed the spaghetti is going to remember AND take the time to let the load presoak for 20 minutes to dissolve the powdered detergent.
Suzie is brilliant–I’ve never read, and never thought, of throwing the dispenser in the machine.
Life is design flaws, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
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I have that same bottle of Tide and have found that if I store it on it’s side it really doesn’t leak (so the handle is up and the spigot is facing the floor). I pull it forward a little so that I can just put the cap under the spigot to fill it and then set the empty cap next to the bottle between washes… I’ve also been known to just toss the whole cap in the wash as well…
Anyway I hope that makes sense… Good luck!
LeeAnn (aka FrazzMom)s last blog post..WFMW- Hide the onions!
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I laughed and laughed at this post. My husband will go weeks without doing laundry when I’ve gone on vacation before! I have this same detergent and I love it. As LeeAnn said, it’s meant to be placed on its side, and it’s so easy to use. No pouring, no chance to spill. And I second the other comments, just throw the cap in the washer every time, problem solved. And the dryer WILL NOT melt it. Not that I know.
I found you through Lady Lyn, and now I blogstalk you. So much fun to read every day.
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I think often about the principle of quantitative rinsing too (I am so glad the chemistry geek in you lives on). I think the principle proves that it is mathmatically impossible to get anything completely clean. Especially spaghetti-puke covered bedding.
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How funny! Your post sounds ALL too familiar lol My husband is exactly the same WAY!!!!!! In fact, he proudly came up to me yesterday to boast the fact that he cleared off the washer and dryer …cleaned it until it sparkled.. and arranged the detergent and such in a better place.. ARGGGG lol
Taras last blog post.."Stretch" those muscles…
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LOL! I’m laughing with you, Jane. Seriously!
May I add one more for the Man Laundry list?
::Please check for stray PullUps left in pants of toddlers before loading the washer. Your darling wife is far too tired to check the wet laundry before flinging it into the dryer.
Oh yes, I have much personal experience with this!
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I’ve forbidden my husband from putting anything into the dryer. He can’t keep straight what I line dry and what I throw in the dryer.
And I’m very picky so it’s not really his fault.
the mama bird diariess last blog post..making a love connection
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I am catching up on your blog so I am a little late to the conversation, but for the record, my mother throws the cap in the washing machine (which is one of those new front loader ones – I don’t know if the type of machine makes a difference or not) so that is probably where Brock got the idea from in the first place.
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The instructions on our liquid detergent and fabric softener bottles actually say to throw the cap into the washer. I used to do this, but then I read a book on laundry (s0 sad, I know), which said that this can catch on clothing and damage it. So I stopped. Now the cap is always slimy. Oh well.
Carolinas last blog post..Monkey Business
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[...] but I also don’t like fashion or makeup or shopping. My ovaries have even failed me in my laundry endeavors. In fact, it is entirely possible that I am not a woman at all, except for those three children who [...]
6) Remove all IPOD’s from pockets.
My oldest has moved from the crayons in the pocket stage to electronic stuff. (although I still find rocks, acorns and coins in his pockets) And since ipod shuffle’s are so tiny they fit in a pants pocket. And no, they don’t work after a spin in the washer no matter how many weeks you let them dry.
And your son will forget his IPOD in his pants pocket no matter how many times you remind him not to put it in there.
sigh….
Erins last blog post..Menu Planning Monday 6/2
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I throw the cup in with the wash as Brock mentions in his comment. I was sick of standing there rinsing the damn thing 7-8 times (try 20), and then having it STILL make a mess. The only flaw I’ve found in this is it sometimes gets thrown in the dryer, and I’m sometimes way too lazy to look for it.
Also, the other day my husband managed to put a pull-up in the dryer… yuck. Those little gel balls were EVERYWHERE. When I started yelling telling him he put a diaper in the dryer, I stopped when I realized it was I who put the load in the wash. Yay me!
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Haha that “yelling” was supposed to be striked out. Oops.
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Oh my – I always regret it when I get too busy to blogstalk you! It’s like our husbands were separated at birth. Thank you for puting so pointed into words what I’ve been trying to explain to him for years!
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