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It has long been my ambition in life to not be like Whitey’s drunk dad in Follow Me Boys. Instead I’d like to be the inspirational, compassionate, Boy Scout-leading Fred MacMurray. But when it comes to gift-giving, I am just as inept as poor Whitey’s dad, bringing cartons of melting ice cream late to the pack meeting.
My very generous mother-in-law always tells us to not get her anything for Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc. She usually sends a detailed email a couple weeks/months before the holiday, telling us what she has bought herself, and reminding us that her kids and grandkids are gift enough and that we needn’t bother ourselves about a gift for her. Usually I like to follow her admonition. Who am I to argue with someone who is happy to save me time, money, thought, and energy?
But now that we’ve moved far away and she can no longer delight in her (admittedly delightful) grandkids on a monthly basis, I thought I’d put together some sort of birthday package this past February. I bought a bag of Lindt truffles, assorted, and one of those new (to me, anyway) home fragrance oil thingies, the ones in the funky glass bottle with bamboo sticks purveying the fragrance to your gracious home. I put in some cards the kids drew, and a family picture in a clear magnetic frame for her refrigerator. Darn thoughtful, huh?
I think it got to Florida a couple days late (nobody’s perfect), and Nana was gratifyingly appreciative. About a week later she emailed to say that she really liked our family picture, and was sorry she hadn’t mentioned it earlier, but the Lindt truffles melted out of their bag and all over the other items, and in the horrific mess (my words) the picture had fallen under a cupboard, and she hadn’t seen it until now.
Lesson Learned: Do not send chocolate in the mail to Florida, even if where you live it is seven degrees and snowing.
About a week ago we got an email from Nana that more forefully than usual said, “Please don’t get me anything for Mother’s Day. My grandkids are gift enough.” Now there’s a challenge. I could slink away and save myself further humiliation, or I could try again and make an effort to be a little more thoughtful.
Costco made the decision easy, as it consistently beautifies and simplifies my life in so many ways (fresh, cook-yourself tortillas!, diapers in bulk!, 55 cent fountain drinks!). As the girls and I worked the sample tables, I saw a display for See’s Candies gift certificates, 2 for 20 bucks. Hot dog!
I realize that Nana Marian will probably read this before she gets the package that I sent today, but then she’ll just have longer to plan which See’s Candies yumminess she wants to get. And, if we find, when we visit later this year, that she has not used the gift card? We’ll take her to the store and force help her to choose something and MAKE her enjoy it!
So, gift-giving, it’s what works not for me.
—
And now for the giveaway. A very nice publicist sent me a review copy of Taylor Wilshire’s new fiction book The Book of Mom. I’ll be posting a review soon, but wanted to hold the giveaway before Mother’s Day. Also, I don’t want to give away the book by telling you how much I loved or hated it. Maybe you can guess by reading it yourself? The Los Angeles Review said:
This spiritual novel brims with humor, realism, and the day-to-day struggles of motherhood . . . Its fast-pace, irresistible, candid, and eloquent account of the human condition makes it impossible to put down.
Leave a comment telling me what you’re giving your mother for Mother’s Day OR the best Mother’s Day gift you’ve ever received and I’ll enter you in the completely random drawing for The Book of Mom. (Continental U.S. only, which unfortunately does not include Canada.)
13 responses so far ↓
1 Kathy in WA // May 6, 2008 at 11:18 pm
I think we’ll do something garden oriented for my mother-in-law. I still haven’t decided about my mom. Oh dear, I’m running out of time, aren’t I.
Sigh! I’m right up with you there on gift giving.
Maybe Costco holds the answer for me as well.
Kathy in WAs last blog post..WFMW - Photography Lessons
2 Sarah // May 7, 2008 at 5:27 am
I took a beautiful picture of my kids and had it put on stretched canvas for both grandma’s. There are lots of places that do this. I used Winkflash with a 40% coupon. They came out great and it was very inexpensive!
Sarahs last blog post..Potty Training….part 8
3 Lady Lyn // May 7, 2008 at 6:30 am
OK, for Mom how about a fabulous dinner and I don’t know what else. I decided for MIL I will give a plate of homemade cookies and a new baby swing for her swingset–since Wart fell out of her current one last Sunday.
Lady Lyns last blog post..Airport Humor
4 Memarie Lane // May 7, 2008 at 8:17 am
LOL that’s exactly what I was thinking when you mentioned chocolate- “wait. She sent chocolate to Florida???”
I just got a gift for my mom today. They sold their house in CA a few months ago, and she had a beautiful garden there. Now they’re in a tiny apartment with a patio. So I bought her a hanging butterfly garden.
I had a hard time choosing Mother’s Day cards this year. It was easy to pick cards for my mom and MIL, but Brad’s grandmother is dying in a hospice right now, Terry Schiavo style. She can’t talk, and we don’t know if she can see or hear. Will she even know I sent her a card? Does she know our new daughter’s middle name will be hers? Does she understand why we can’t be there?
I got her a card.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..Lunch
5 Susan // May 7, 2008 at 8:44 am
What about just getting her a nice card?? My grandma always says she doesn’t care about gifts, but she’s very attached to her cards and pictures. Crap! That reminds me - I haven’t sent her Mother’s Day card yet
Anyway, The Book of Mom sounds fun. I’ve seen it reviewed on other blogs. I would love to win it! I get all sorts of books in the mail, but I never seem to get the good ones - what’s up with that?
Tell A to update her blog - H is waiting anxiously for the next installment!
Susans last blog post..Moving Day
6 Phyllis @ Aimless Conversation // May 7, 2008 at 11:59 am
I grew up in CA and I LOVE See’s candy! What a great gift idea. =) They don’t have it out East except at Christmas time in mall Kiosks. My kids got me a big box of the assorted lollipops for Christmas…I am still sucking on those. and I am NOT sharing.
for Mother’s day, we are probably eating at Cracker Barrel because I don’t want to cook and we have a gift card to eat there.
7 Annette // May 7, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Oh, yes…Mother’s Day. Hmmmm, I might do rose bushes for the moms this year. I like the gardening idea, and both mom and mom-in-law are fans of flowers.
As for myself, I’m not sure what the husband is conspiring to. But hopefully, he’s thinking of SOMETHING!
Thanks for the blog comment, BTW!!
8 Marianne // May 7, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Oh my, too rich!
You’re a good egg to keep trying, Jane.
Sometimes, the gift is in the giving, not the receiving. It helps to mumble this under your breath repeatedly.
Thanks for dropping in at Writer-Mommy Writing Wednesday.
9 the mama bird diaries // May 7, 2008 at 8:50 pm
I’m giving my mom a roller blade together along the Hudson River in New York. That’s what she asked for. Sounds good.
10 CC // May 7, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Dude. So this reminds me that I haven’t sent my mom anything!!! Ack! I so don’t have time to deal with this!!! Um, so I think my mom will get a video of the kids. Via the internet. Hurray for the internet!
For mother’s day, I’m gonna get a clean car! Yee hah!
CCs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Starting out with signing
11 Darla // May 8, 2008 at 1:16 pm
The gift of time. We invited her to our house and we will spend time together and I will fix a nice dinner and she will be with her grandkids. If I have time I may her a post note holder.
12 I am mommy: hear me blog // May 10, 2008 at 1:04 am
[...] last week. I shampooed the carpet and played board games with the kids. I even held a giveaway for the book I was avoiding reviewing to try to generate interest on my part. But now I can’t [...]
13 Zina // May 18, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Um, they don’t have See’s Candy stores in Florida:
http://www.sees.com/ShopList.cfm
(Maybe they’d mail-order to her, though . . . and maybe they have the know-how to successfully mail chocolate to Florida?)
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