WFMW: Just say no to online shopping

The best thing about shopping online is that you can do it in your underwear, and ignore your kids, and not have people looking at you like a) why are you in your underwear? and b) don’t you hear your kid screaming? I guess there’s more than one best things.

The worst thing about shopping online is that it is so easy to spend money.

Credit cards are like monopoly money, only easier to get cashiers to accept, and if you’re online somewhere where they memorize your information, you don’t even have to get out your credit card (of course, you don’t have to get it out if you have the number memorized either, which I don’t, of course). Which is a good thing, because my kids, when they’re not screaming, are emptying out my wallet and hiding all my cards in their own special purses. Next to the Kix.

Itunes is the worst. At first they pop up that box asking if you really want to buy this song, but you can get rid of that nagging conscience pretty quick-like, and then you can buy one song after another with nary a dollar or cent or plastic thingie in sight. I know, I know, each song only costs 99 cents, but it can be a shock to see how quickly that turns into real money. And I don’t even really like that Maroon 5 song, or Kelly Clarkson. So she’s catchy. Sue me.

I think maybe we’re spend-a-holics, or is that buy-a-holics, even though usually (unfortunately) my biggest extravagance is too much spent on gourmet (!) treats at Wal-mart. Like fruit cups and pudding cups and cute little yogurts. Lots of things that need spoons, so then I have to buy white plastic spoons in bulk ’cause my dishwasher’s still making that sick cranking sound.

But June from ByeByeBuy has become June from ByeByePie, and now my inspiration to stop spending is not doing so much for me in the inspiration to stop eating pie department. Probably because I’m not eating too much pie (it’s not Thanksgiving yet, is it?), but I guess ByeByeCaffeineFreeMountainDew just doesn’t have that ring.

And online shopping will never compete with the Costco lunch. No free food samples, no acres of indestructible concrete cavern floors for the kids to run around on, no refrigerated fresh-produce section to explore in wonder as if it’s not minus 10 degrees outside. No cheap-ish pink princess shoes in bulk, and no churros and polish sausage and a 55 cent re-fillable fountain drink. Bliss in a wax-paper cup.

Shopping in person — the truth is, I never left you. All through my wild days of empty browsing on half/ebay and amazon and oldnavy’s clearance, I kept my promise, don’t cut up my credit cards.

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this post inspired by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer. only 11 million of her closest friends signed up for her last carnival, and i felt bad for her.